The Conversation Between Heaven and Earth by Mark Kutolowski The dawn chorus begins before I open my eyes. There are enough songs outside that it’s difficult, with my limited knowledge of bird calls, to distinguish one tune from another. Instead, it’s one layer of melody upon another, seemingly uncoordinated yet somehow harmonious and beautiful to hear. Our home, a 20-foot diameter yurt, offers ample protection from the elements, yet is permeable to the sounds of the land. It’s not so much that I’m dutifully rising today, as that I can’t sleep past the exuberant singing of the winged ones just outside our walls. I open my eyes while still lying in bed – the light of dawn has just begun. I glance at my watch – it’s 5:14 AM. I take a few long breaths, warming up my body, and then pull myself up to sit on the edge of my mat.
I just began a possibly extended stay at Benedictine Monastery. So this is a relevant post for me (thank you to Clara for pointing me to it!). I would like to do something similar to what you are describing-- a kind of lay monasticism.
I was just now, before dinner, thumbing through a copy of Our Thoughts determine Our Lives: The Life and Teachings of Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica. I bring this up because I have zero idea how I could bring this into reality. I will simply pray and think positively about it. Man proposes...and God, well, we shall see what God does.
Thank you for your post and I look forward to reading more.
Thanks for this beatiful and insightful piece. It's great that you are sharing so many practical details; I somehow think some awareness of our alternative, spiritually-oriented lifestyles can be very beneficial for the public at large, who might be yearning for a change but haven't been exposed to models that are as attractive -and challenging and rich- as the one you describe here.
This is very good, thank you for writing and sharing. My community has been in conversations about developing rules of life, so I appreciate the chance to glimpse how another community is going about the work of shaping each day to receive Jesus' love. Really beautiful.
Thank you for these great questions about the structure of our days. It has been increasingly clear to me that I need more of something in this area but I don't know where/how to go about it and have always resisted rigid scheduling as a parent. The life of structured prayer you describe sounds impossibly foreign to me but it is a big idea that will work its way around in my mind for some time, I expect. I am also reading The Benedict Option that has been mentioned frequently by people I read. I wonder if this was an inspiration for you? -- because somehow, so far, the book fails to attract me to its vision -- it seems fearful and reactionary. Your descriptions of your homestead life certainly do not. (Yes, I got here from the Abbey and read lots of your previous posts too.)
My family of 7 are also struggling with your final question as we are some of those who do have the freedom and autonomy to structure our lives intentionally. We are pondering making a move to Maine or somewhere more rural. One of the biggest dilemmas revolves around our parents who live near us here on Cape Cod. They do not currently need our physical care but those years are likely to come. The culture here is not improving, however, and the future of the place looks more urban than not so for the kids' sake it seems best to transplant ourselves. And also because, like you describe, we long to live more fully in participation with the dialogue between heaven and earth and to make it a possibility for our kids. I love how you reminded us that the vast majority do not even have such choices and that there are many ways to serve faithfully in whatever sphere of life we find ourselves.
Last of all, Blessings on the upcoming birth!!! I will hold especially the mama in prayer.
Thanks for the thoughtful comment! I can certainly relate to the challenging question of care for our elders/parents - which is one of the realities for lay life that is not normally a part of the monastic path. In our family we often ponder how we can balance the call of the Gospel and radical simplicity with honoring our relationships with those who are living more mainstream lives -including, but not limited to our parents. Both are virtues, and so I suppose there's no easy or fixed answer. I wish you and your family wisdom with the ongoing discernment.
As for The Benedict Option (the book), the short answer is no, it wasn't an inspiration for me/us on this path. I spent time at a Benedictine community when I was 20, and then kept going back and felt deeply drawn to their life of prayer and the obvious spiritual joy I saw in the monks. Whenever I prayed for guidance, I always felt called to vocational marriage, so I never became a candidate to join the monastery. My wife Lisa and I talked about this lay contemplative ideal on our first date, as she had been drawn along similar lines before we met, then we got married within a year and set about trying to bring it into form.
I did hear several friends talking about The Benedict Option when it came out, and initially I was quite excited as I thought the book might be about the lay contemplative path we're trying to live out. I came across a copy at a retreat center a few months later and dug in. I wasn't able to finish it as I was so distracted by author's emphasis on opposing the evils of the declining culture. It's not that I couldn't relate to some aspects of what he said, but to me the Benedictine path is primarily a positive one - it's about a longing for more of God and an ordered/integrated life of love. It feels like a bit of a paradox - Benedictine life is a blessing to the wider world and might even be a remedy for some of the ills of the culture when it's lived foremost out of love for God, but when it is pursued as a 'strategy' for fighting the evils of the culture or surviving cultural decline it seems to wither into a reactionary stance. Like you, I don't find that very appealing - or very resonant with the spirit of St. Benedict.
Thank you for the blessings, and thank you for the prayer!
Thank you! I did find you through Paul and really connected to this essay.
I have often sought out to live the structure you speak of, but it has been impossible to find it in the middle of Seattle, surrounded by wireless routers where streams of information flow on invisible highways surrounding our auras. I often wonder what would happen if I sprayed the air around with a magical paint that would reveal all of the ways energy travels and all of its forms too.
Wireless routers and magical paint aside, the stress of everyone around is felt and because it seeks release by any means it finds it by creeping into our apartment and demanding to be heard. We, human beings, are far more than connected by living in close proximity to each other in the cities. I would venture to say we are one being. And this being is certainly out of balance and ailing. My offering to this being is to write and make movies - an abstract and mental task most of the time. Your reminder to establish a direct connection to the land is really appreciated as is the breakdown of prayer time during the day. Thank you.
It's interesting to hear about your perspective living in the midst of a dense urban community. I never thought about magical paint (great idea!) but I've often wondered about the effects of being immersed in the sea of information traveling across and through our spaces and our bodies. I agree that we're very connected. I've known spiritually sensitive people who live in cities and say they find it very demanding to stay grounded. They take in so much of the tension and pain (and, in many cases, specific thought forms) of the people around them. Seems like the connection to both land/physical reality and God becomes even more critical in that environment - and that those who can stay grounded and open in the cities are similarly a presence of healing to those around them.
Here's an insightful comment and question on this piece that I received through a different medium - II'm reposting it here, and then will post my reply as well.:
-------------------
Dear Mark,
Hope you are well! I have thoroughly enjoyed your blog, which I found by reading Paul Kingsnorth's substack.
I wanted to get your insights on something I have been pondering over. When I read your "Conversations Between Heaven and Earth," particularly your great insights on the regularity of praying the Divine Office and following the Rule of St. Benedict, I was struck by the beauty of praying with regularity throughout the day with the texts of the Church.
I wonder what the relationship is between praying the Divine Office/Liturgy of the Hours, and the deep power of healing (emotional and psychological) in Christ through such prayers? When one thinks of healing prayers, we may not immediately make or draw the connection to praying the Liturgy of the Hours.
Anyway, would love your feedback, or perhaps a substack post on this. Thanks again so much!
Thanks for your message! This is a great question. I do think it would make a great post sometime.
But prior to that, my general thoughts:
Often people will pray particular prayers for the healing of a specific need. Then there is the greater, more general healing that comes with our whole person being caught up into God's life and presence - body, soul and spirit. The regular praying of the divine office is like a small, daily dose of 'medicine' that helps us grow in that relationship. Ultimately, this can support our healing and 'wholing' in God, but it's working at that root level of our primary relationship with God rather than trying to directly address any specific or particular need. I think the particular petitionary prayers can have value, but the Liturgy of the Hours is more of the stable baseline of spiritual health.
I suppose you could liken it to the difference between trying to take a medicine or have a surgery to fix a specific problem, and learning to eat healthy foods that give your body the nourishment it needs to cultivate overall wellness and heal itself. Specific prayers for healing are like the specific medicine or surgery, and the daily faithfulness to the Divine Office/Liturgy of the Hours is like the long-term nourishment from healthy food.
Related to all this: Many years ago, I read a beautiful passage by an Orthodox elder (I don't have access to it now) about the value in not praying for God to help us with particular emotional or spiritual problems - his understanding was that by focusing on the problem we strengthen its presence within our psyche. He instead recommended throwing oneself whole-heartedly into praise and adoration of God, trusting that God would bring about the healing of the particular problem in a hidden way, without our effort or attention, while we were caught up in the work of loving God.
Thank you for this wonderful missive--which trenchantly called out the imbalance in my life--not so much in the material world as it is driven to get things done--many of which are altruistic and noble. I had a much needed cry and thank you for the humble example you have provided here--not so much in how I need to be balanced but moreover in simply addressing the issue in the first place--and its stark implications for the tortured world in which we live.
I just began a possibly extended stay at Benedictine Monastery. So this is a relevant post for me (thank you to Clara for pointing me to it!). I would like to do something similar to what you are describing-- a kind of lay monasticism.
I was just now, before dinner, thumbing through a copy of Our Thoughts determine Our Lives: The Life and Teachings of Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica. I bring this up because I have zero idea how I could bring this into reality. I will simply pray and think positively about it. Man proposes...and God, well, we shall see what God does.
Thank you for your post and I look forward to reading more.
Thank you.
-Jack
Jack, blessings to you on your stay at the Benedictine Monastery. It sounds like you are in the midst of a sacred and powerful journey.
Peace to you,
Mark
Thanks for this beatiful and insightful piece. It's great that you are sharing so many practical details; I somehow think some awareness of our alternative, spiritually-oriented lifestyles can be very beneficial for the public at large, who might be yearning for a change but haven't been exposed to models that are as attractive -and challenging and rich- as the one you describe here.
This is very good, thank you for writing and sharing. My community has been in conversations about developing rules of life, so I appreciate the chance to glimpse how another community is going about the work of shaping each day to receive Jesus' love. Really beautiful.
Thank you for these great questions about the structure of our days. It has been increasingly clear to me that I need more of something in this area but I don't know where/how to go about it and have always resisted rigid scheduling as a parent. The life of structured prayer you describe sounds impossibly foreign to me but it is a big idea that will work its way around in my mind for some time, I expect. I am also reading The Benedict Option that has been mentioned frequently by people I read. I wonder if this was an inspiration for you? -- because somehow, so far, the book fails to attract me to its vision -- it seems fearful and reactionary. Your descriptions of your homestead life certainly do not. (Yes, I got here from the Abbey and read lots of your previous posts too.)
My family of 7 are also struggling with your final question as we are some of those who do have the freedom and autonomy to structure our lives intentionally. We are pondering making a move to Maine or somewhere more rural. One of the biggest dilemmas revolves around our parents who live near us here on Cape Cod. They do not currently need our physical care but those years are likely to come. The culture here is not improving, however, and the future of the place looks more urban than not so for the kids' sake it seems best to transplant ourselves. And also because, like you describe, we long to live more fully in participation with the dialogue between heaven and earth and to make it a possibility for our kids. I love how you reminded us that the vast majority do not even have such choices and that there are many ways to serve faithfully in whatever sphere of life we find ourselves.
Last of all, Blessings on the upcoming birth!!! I will hold especially the mama in prayer.
-Clara
Hi Clara,
Thanks for the thoughtful comment! I can certainly relate to the challenging question of care for our elders/parents - which is one of the realities for lay life that is not normally a part of the monastic path. In our family we often ponder how we can balance the call of the Gospel and radical simplicity with honoring our relationships with those who are living more mainstream lives -including, but not limited to our parents. Both are virtues, and so I suppose there's no easy or fixed answer. I wish you and your family wisdom with the ongoing discernment.
As for The Benedict Option (the book), the short answer is no, it wasn't an inspiration for me/us on this path. I spent time at a Benedictine community when I was 20, and then kept going back and felt deeply drawn to their life of prayer and the obvious spiritual joy I saw in the monks. Whenever I prayed for guidance, I always felt called to vocational marriage, so I never became a candidate to join the monastery. My wife Lisa and I talked about this lay contemplative ideal on our first date, as she had been drawn along similar lines before we met, then we got married within a year and set about trying to bring it into form.
I did hear several friends talking about The Benedict Option when it came out, and initially I was quite excited as I thought the book might be about the lay contemplative path we're trying to live out. I came across a copy at a retreat center a few months later and dug in. I wasn't able to finish it as I was so distracted by author's emphasis on opposing the evils of the declining culture. It's not that I couldn't relate to some aspects of what he said, but to me the Benedictine path is primarily a positive one - it's about a longing for more of God and an ordered/integrated life of love. It feels like a bit of a paradox - Benedictine life is a blessing to the wider world and might even be a remedy for some of the ills of the culture when it's lived foremost out of love for God, but when it is pursued as a 'strategy' for fighting the evils of the culture or surviving cultural decline it seems to wither into a reactionary stance. Like you, I don't find that very appealing - or very resonant with the spirit of St. Benedict.
Thank you for the blessings, and thank you for the prayer!
Peace,
Mark
Thank you! I did find you through Paul and really connected to this essay.
I have often sought out to live the structure you speak of, but it has been impossible to find it in the middle of Seattle, surrounded by wireless routers where streams of information flow on invisible highways surrounding our auras. I often wonder what would happen if I sprayed the air around with a magical paint that would reveal all of the ways energy travels and all of its forms too.
Wireless routers and magical paint aside, the stress of everyone around is felt and because it seeks release by any means it finds it by creeping into our apartment and demanding to be heard. We, human beings, are far more than connected by living in close proximity to each other in the cities. I would venture to say we are one being. And this being is certainly out of balance and ailing. My offering to this being is to write and make movies - an abstract and mental task most of the time. Your reminder to establish a direct connection to the land is really appreciated as is the breakdown of prayer time during the day. Thank you.
I look forward to more essays!
It's interesting to hear about your perspective living in the midst of a dense urban community. I never thought about magical paint (great idea!) but I've often wondered about the effects of being immersed in the sea of information traveling across and through our spaces and our bodies. I agree that we're very connected. I've known spiritually sensitive people who live in cities and say they find it very demanding to stay grounded. They take in so much of the tension and pain (and, in many cases, specific thought forms) of the people around them. Seems like the connection to both land/physical reality and God becomes even more critical in that environment - and that those who can stay grounded and open in the cities are similarly a presence of healing to those around them.
Here's an insightful comment and question on this piece that I received through a different medium - II'm reposting it here, and then will post my reply as well.:
-------------------
Dear Mark,
Hope you are well! I have thoroughly enjoyed your blog, which I found by reading Paul Kingsnorth's substack.
I wanted to get your insights on something I have been pondering over. When I read your "Conversations Between Heaven and Earth," particularly your great insights on the regularity of praying the Divine Office and following the Rule of St. Benedict, I was struck by the beauty of praying with regularity throughout the day with the texts of the Church.
I wonder what the relationship is between praying the Divine Office/Liturgy of the Hours, and the deep power of healing (emotional and psychological) in Christ through such prayers? When one thinks of healing prayers, we may not immediately make or draw the connection to praying the Liturgy of the Hours.
Anyway, would love your feedback, or perhaps a substack post on this. Thanks again so much!
Pax,
Brian Jones
Hello Brian,
Thanks for your message! This is a great question. I do think it would make a great post sometime.
But prior to that, my general thoughts:
Often people will pray particular prayers for the healing of a specific need. Then there is the greater, more general healing that comes with our whole person being caught up into God's life and presence - body, soul and spirit. The regular praying of the divine office is like a small, daily dose of 'medicine' that helps us grow in that relationship. Ultimately, this can support our healing and 'wholing' in God, but it's working at that root level of our primary relationship with God rather than trying to directly address any specific or particular need. I think the particular petitionary prayers can have value, but the Liturgy of the Hours is more of the stable baseline of spiritual health.
I suppose you could liken it to the difference between trying to take a medicine or have a surgery to fix a specific problem, and learning to eat healthy foods that give your body the nourishment it needs to cultivate overall wellness and heal itself. Specific prayers for healing are like the specific medicine or surgery, and the daily faithfulness to the Divine Office/Liturgy of the Hours is like the long-term nourishment from healthy food.
Related to all this: Many years ago, I read a beautiful passage by an Orthodox elder (I don't have access to it now) about the value in not praying for God to help us with particular emotional or spiritual problems - his understanding was that by focusing on the problem we strengthen its presence within our psyche. He instead recommended throwing oneself whole-heartedly into praise and adoration of God, trusting that God would bring about the healing of the particular problem in a hidden way, without our effort or attention, while we were caught up in the work of loving God.
Peace be with you!
Mark
Dear Mark--
Thank you for this wonderful missive--which trenchantly called out the imbalance in my life--not so much in the material world as it is driven to get things done--many of which are altruistic and noble. I had a much needed cry and thank you for the humble example you have provided here--not so much in how I need to be balanced but moreover in simply addressing the issue in the first place--and its stark implications for the tortured world in which we live.
Thank you my friend and brother in Christ.
george
Maybe the way to begin to right the balance is to start small, be persistent but with the the spiritually always being made the priority day-to-day.