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Aug 20, 2022Liked by Mark Kutolowski

Thank you so much, Mark and Lisa. AMEN, Amen to all you have said. By a miraculous confluence of circumstances I have been blessed with 5 midwife assisted births and 4 of them at home. I was in a place where I knew that the surrender required was a spiritual rite and not in any way medical. It is just as you have described. I remember telling my husband and the midwives that for a short time I felt that I was more of an animal than a human... operating from a deep instinctive need to birth and losing all the concerns that normal human life holds. I also prayed a prayer of surrender to God throughout the challenging moments. And I also remarked that if someone had been by my side saying, "are you sure you don't need an epidural or a C section?" I would have grabbed at the chance for relief. So we have to intentionally surround ourselves with the right people and not everyone can manage that. Many women who understand what is at stake don't have a husband who gets it. He wants to be a hero and make the pain go away, or he perceives the medical establishment as safe and so insists on it. It is important for men and husbands to write and think about this matter for that reason at least.

Another thing that I wonder about is how so many mothers that I meet are preoccupied with worry about how much and how long their babies sleep and the feeding schedule thing. I think that after a proper initiation we have a sort of inner strength, trust, and flow that helps us work these things out and lacking that initiatory passage we aren't entering into motherhood with all the resources we need. It's easy to imagine how this would ricochet down through the generations. As you say, it is not one individuals fault that they are in this broken system, and it is no credit to me personally that I was gifted with natural birth; but knowing what I know I am sad that this has been such a rare thing.

Clara

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Aug 21, 2022Liked by Mark Kutolowski

This was fascinating and enlightening. How do you reconcile a lack of men’s rites of initiation with the Church’s current rites of baptism, chrismation, and communion which for many Orthodox Christians occur as babies, before an egoic transformation may occur? Is a “new sacrament” the solution? Should we appropriate another tradition’s rite? Looking back on my life, I’m not sure if I ever experienced a rite of initiation into manhood as you describe, however I can see small moments in which I trusted in God and not my own rationality. Thanks for an excellent article.

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This is a terrific piece. Came across your work recently and am glad to have found it. Thanks for writing.

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